he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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