i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
