she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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