i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
