Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
