...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
