So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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