I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
