Your face is a jimmy john
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize