You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
