Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
