before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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