the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
