My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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