How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
