Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
nutella sex= disaster
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
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