He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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