yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Randomize
