Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
