Im at strip club and am horny
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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