she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
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