Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize