he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
