now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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