It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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