my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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