in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize