We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize