Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
