Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
