If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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