remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize