well I can't set my house on fire every night
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
