in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
