My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
So gin and wine won't be happening again
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
