Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
