i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
this will be a night to untag.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize
