and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
