guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Found the puke drawer
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
