I'd wear matching sweaters with you
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
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