allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
