Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
