I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
