she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
