Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
