Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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