Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Brb crying the tears of my youth
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
