Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize