i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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