So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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