Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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