She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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