East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
