I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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