Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
