Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize
