You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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