the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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