I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I CAN MOONWALK!
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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