You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Randomize
