we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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