so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
