I wannas sexs uuuuu
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
