You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
