you win again, gameday.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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