I must be too annoying 4 u.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
