Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
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