Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
