she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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