I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
