We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
