In the future we'll all be gay
she smelled like a LAN party
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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